So what kind of writer are you, anyway?

I get this question a lot. Well-meaning strangers or fellow writers that love to chat over plot holes give me a minute to stumble over what I hope sounds like something intelligent.

"Er, children's nonfiction, short stories and zombies. And humor. And some ghost stories."

"Okay, but how's your novel going?"

"I'm not a novelist, that's too much hard work." I steel myself for their look of either pity at my inability to write real literature or confusion. Why would anyone want to write nonfiction, much less humor? I get a slight smile, they tell me about their novel and then they move on.

With three books coming out next spring and me playing the "one of these things ain't like the other" genre game, I can see why I trip over my tongue when asked to explain what I do. Some agents and writing websites tell us not to spread ourselves thin - stick to one genre and beat that horse until it dies, taking your career along with it. Since I have the attention span of carpet fluff, I don't mind developing one writing career alongside another. The Zombie Tarot and picture books? Why not? Ghosts and humor columns? Load me up. I have a bad case of "You're not the boss of me" and will muddle through.

My current projects are horror-based though I can't write a straight scary piece to save my life. There will be plenty of humor mixed in with the lite gore, satisfying two audiences. Those curious enough to see who I've carved up in an ice hotel and those wanting to see how snarky I can get while doing it.

So what kind of writer are you?

What's on your resume?

I've been contacted by a few television programs lately, in reference to an article I wrote years ago on haunted objects. They weren't looking for me, they were looking for the fellow I was chatting about and his interesting collection of items that wandered, thumped and made themselves a general nuisance. He and I have lost touch and while I did earnestly try to find his contact information to pass along it occurred to me that I have as much paranormal experience as he did - maybe more.

I don't have a snazzy collection of haunted objects but I do have twenty years of sitting in attics and waiting for a boo. I have shadow people flitting around my house regularly (just saw another one while chatting on the phone with a friend last week), hear my name called out clearly at night while my husband sleeps, and have found myself wandering the house in the dark searching for... something - in the middle of the night. Haunted? Perhaps. Then again, it could just be indigestion.

So, at this last request, I offered my advice on their subject matter and may be showing up as a contributor/consultant on a future broadcast. It's time to expand my resume, my friends. What are you an expert in that you haven't claimed yet?