The writer's daughters: Dating dangerously

My children think I'm weird.

That's no surprise to any parent, really, we all know our kids think we're anything but cool with our references to Duran Duran and finding the odd scrunchie in our hair but I hadn't thought about how my writing may influence my five daughters' dating lives until now.

R: Boy, meet my mother, Mrs. Graham.

Boy: Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Graham; I mistook you for R's sister. [In reality, I think I'd be closer with a "S'up" lift of the chin while I search for his eyes under a Beiber haircut]

R: Mom writes dating advice for the Undead. Then for kicks, she hangs out in dark attics and hopes a mouse doesn't climb into her hair while she's looking for dead people. She's currently writing Jane Austen fanfiction, and a short story about a lady Bigfoot named Clementine.

Boy: Er... My mom has a real job.

R: Really? I've heard of those "real jobs" but my Mom can't stay out of fistfights when working with other people so they've locked her away at home and called her a writer. We like to think of her medications as a public service.

Boy: Mom is a foot doctor; I don't know if she'd like me hanging out with anyone whose mother is a complete nutjob.

R: How lovely for her. I have someone else I'd like you to meet...  [shoves boy into basement with the zombies]

My younger daughters will have a bit more time to come up with a game plan to introduce me to their boyfriends but I expect similar results. I may be weird but my daughters know which side their zombies are buttered on.

8 comments:

  1. Coolest mom ever.

    Other than mine, of course. ;)

    Adam

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  2. Writers make the best parents! The children are left to their own imagination with the occasional interruption to make us some tea. :D

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  3. Classic :) I get the same treatment... sans Zombie story. I'm just weird-weird.;)

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  4. Thank you! Wynter wanted to know what I have planned for her future boyfriends. I'll have to think of something dastardly.

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  5. Wow, my dad sometimes brought out a Derringer Pistol, but I think the zombie thing might have more efficacy.

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