Writers move in a relatively small circle of friends; through message boards, social media and professional contacts many of us know each other and when someone is behaving badly it gets around - fast. Twice this week I've made decisions to cut back on ties with a popular board due to writers I don't have patience to deal with any longer. I stop myself from sending negative RPs since their decisions to be rude, disrespectful and flat out mean are a reflection upon themselves and their words speak louder on the screen than any admonishment from me would do.
Have people become more loose with their manners since the web is relatively safe from consequences? I know agents google prospective clients, do posts made in nasty tones effect their chances of being represented? Or does it simply drive away people who were there with good intentions but left due to drama?
I'll save my words to fight the good fight and not dissolve into name-calling or frenzied typing to prove I'm right. I've seen too much of it there - this chapter is done.
I don't understand how people act the way they do online, but then I'm a polite person in, well, person.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest compliment I got (about this) was when I met some writer friends in December and they said I wasn't as much of a goody-goody as they thought I might be (not exact words). I make a point of presenting myself online in a way that I'd never have to apologize or be embarrassed later, and it was nice to see my effort worked.
I hope you find some peace now that you can put all this nonsense behind you.
I think people participate in certain negative behaviors they'd never do in public - it is sad, really.
ReplyDeleteJust because I'm "online" and not "seen" doesn't change the person I am or how I wish others to see me - so I act accordingly.
I believe people can easily hide behind the internet and don't have the gumption to say things face to face they is said in the blogsphere. I don't take anything personal that I read on boards and seek out online friends that want what I want. To find a great writing partner/friend that encourages, give honest yet respectful feedback and treats me the way I treat them.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly it, ladies! A little respect goes a long way. Not just in writing circles but in life and I'm hearing its death knell in the past few weeks.
ReplyDeleteNever give up, never give in!