Easy peasy granola recipe

Aside from being a kick-ass zombie love machine, I'm also a dandy little granola chef. While writing for the now-defunct Hippie Sounds blog on b5Media, I ran across the ultimate recipe for satisfying those *urges* one gets while listening to 60s music.  I've adapted the recipe for my family's tastebuds and kicked out the healthy stuff, leaving it moist, delicious and too stupid to screw up.

Since I wax poetic occasionally about my granola to friends, many have asked for the recipe and I am happy to oblige.  This is the basic granola, please add whatever you like to make it your very own family favorite.

6 cups oats (not quick oats)
3/4 cup honey
3/4 cup veggie oil
2 tsp Vanilla
Nutmeg

Set oven to 300 degrees and mix ingredients in a high-sided pan.  Bake for 30 minutes, turning oats every ten minutes. Remove from oven when the dinger goes crazy and turn one more time so it doesn't harden, then let cool.

Variation:
Chocolate granola: Add two tablespoons of cocoa powder to oat mixture before baking and stir in well.

Chocolate chip granola:
Let granola cool in the pan for five minutes, then stir in handfuls of chocolate chips. This way the chips won't melt too much, leaving you with clumpy and hard granola -- just lovely melty noms.



This never lasts for more than a few days in my house, so I can't tell you how long of a shelf life it will have. I keep mine in the fridge to reduce chance of it drying out because dry, sticky granola is nasty. Just sayin'.

Mix in additional ingredients or add them to your individual bowl for extra flexibility.

Things the Grahams like in their Graham-ola:

• chocolate chips
• cranberries
• coconut
• nuts
• apricots/dried fruit
• carob chips
• banana chips
• cinnamon

What do you like in your granola?

Blog Bling

What does a woman have to do around here to get a little love? Well, in Adam's case, I had to make him a zombie but for the rest of you, five worthy bloggers get this nifty award for making me squirt Coke Zero from my nose while reading your posts.  Coke Zero  -- it buuuuuuuurns.

Here's the scoop:

• Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
• Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
• Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
• Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
• Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Now, for my choice in Coke Zero blowing goodness:

• Amy Mullis of Mind Over Mullis. Stretchy pants never looked so... stretchy. In a good way. Stop looking at me like that.
• Harley May because there is no "censor" button on the woman. And she keeps threatening to send me photos of her in her Tennis Whites. What the hell are Tennis Whites? It can't be a good thing. This should keep her quiet for five minutes.
• Janna Qualman from Something She Wrote because we all love her so. And she looks like she could make a damn good sandwich.
• Beth Bartlett from Wisecrack Zodiac. I'm seriously kicking myself for not thinking of this blog first. Beth, need a co-author?  *CALL ME* What? Too desperate? *call me, call me, call me...* Better?
• Jason Tudor because he the gets it. No. Not that "gets it." Talented, funny and a gentleman, he's an excellent fellow and he brightens my facebook every darn day.

 Now for Adam's evil insistence on 10 barely fascinating things about me that would only interest my psychotherapist and the police in a tiny, unnamed country I visited about 15 years ago:

• I refuse to tell my Scotland story because Jason will tease me forever. Let's just say it involved an Englishman, a stone fence and a bicycle. Oh, and the po-po.
• I have degrees in history and archaeology which makes me ideally suitable for writing about dead things
• I gave up writing for nearly fifteen years to concentrate on things like breastfeeding five children and playing hide and seek with my uterus
• My husband and my brother have the same first name. Yeah. That was a weird honeymoon.
• I've been ghost hunting for over twenty years and my kids are afraid of them. Have I taught them nothing?
• At the tender age of fifteen, I assisted a ewe in giving birth to a breech by sticking my hand up her rump and pulling the lamb out
• I hate rats and tiny furry things that aren't bunnies
• I can recite Disney's Robin Hood from memory 
• I prefer the shape of a crescent moon over all other symbols
• At 21, my goal in life was to become National Geographic's cover girl after finding sunken cities in the Mediterranean Sea as a marine archaeologist

Well that was mildly interesting.  I need to get out more.

What was that zooming by? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What a crazy month this has been. The proposal was finished, edited within an inch of its life and after a few cocktails, I queried two agents. One was on vacation until the following week (and eventually passed after hearing from Skippy the Intern) and the other asked me for a finished proposal five minutes after I sent the email.

Shock.

Horror.

What have I done.

Luckily the now to be known as "Awesome Agent " sent a pdf on how to format a proposal the way she wanted it so I spent several hours tearing apart my old proposal, re-formatted and off it went. Days later, I realized not only had Word re-formatted the proposal after I transferred it to the email (I know better, GAH!), I had transposed my phone number digits. No agent would ever work with such a doofus. Note: she had it in the original email plus my address, website, email address again in case she'd printed it off and didn't want to search for it in the thousands of queries she'd gotten that month. I like to cover my bases.

A week went by. A mere week, when AA emailed that she would like to see the finished book if it was ready. Oh yes. I was ready. More hours of editing, formatting for her Sony Reader and even more editing then it was sent off again. Yes, I checked my phone number. And now we wait.

In the meantime, I thought I'd relax by starting Ermas (post below) who are now up to 24 writers; write a newsletter for Berryville Main Street (small biz); write lots of lovely new essays for Ermas and get back to Pocket Full of Posies by using Tarot for Writers since it's a tarot/romance.

What's up in your world this week?

An Army of Ermas

I was having an Erma moment.

Kids finally back in school after a week off due to Sno-zilla and only the preschooler climbing on my head telling me she wants to marry Darth Vader, I realized that my life isn't much different than my beloved Bombeck and the stack of unpubbed parenting stories on my hard drive weren't getting any younger. After chatting with a friend on facebook, we hit upon the idea of starting a new humor blog that is Erma-esque but brought into the 21st century. I wanted to showcase the talents of new writers and those with a few chuckles under their belts already so asked some writer and mom-type friends if they'd be interested in contributing to An Army of Ermas. The response has been overwhelming and they're bringing friends!

I'd better start chilling more margaritas - these girls have a gleam in their eyes.

Stop by and say hello! If you are a writer looking to get your feet wet and work with some of the funniest writers in the business, please give me a jingle and we'll get you set up. You needn't be a mom or even female but funny helps. ;)

New blog name for Flibbity Gibbet contest

If you've read the blog for any length of time, you'll know I can't resist a good contest (i.e. Erma) so while tossing around my new URL (http://staceyigraham.blogspot.com for everyone's bookmarks) I decided to have my own contest to rename this sucker.

Deadline: February 20th because I have the attention span of indoor/outdoor carpet

Prize: Your very own copy of Hungry For Your Love (ebook)

You may post below or on my facebook page and good luck!

Writer - know thyself

As a card-carrying Gemini, I've teased genres from humor to ghost writing (literal ghosts) to kidlit and romance. I love exploiting my ADD to suit my mood but when I tried to get "serious" about writing a novel, I fell flat. I did what was expected-loaded up the iPod, stored enough chocolate away to give a diabetic a fit, muttered to myself about POV and donned the Cone of Silence earphones-and ran out of steam after 20k words. I had outlines, flowcharts, character sketches, I thought I was ready for the big time so what happened?

I wasn't having any fun.

I forgot my roots. When I started writing years ago, my strength was the short essay. I had dreams of being the next Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry with a great set of boobs and writing humor columns that would make people do a spit take over their morning newspaper. Sure, ghosts were spooky, romance paid some bills, and freelance placated my ADD for a time but it wasn't until I faced that what I wanted to do was go back to shorties full-time that I had my "ah-haaaaa" moment. Zombies fulfilled those nibbles of work that I had so much fun with and with luck we'll ride the Undead wave to publication.

Great American novel? It could still happen. But it's more likely I'll Erma it and do a collection of essays instead.

Which brings me to my question. Have you found your niche?

The agony and well, more agony. Nonfiction Book Proposals

The fun part is over. The zombies are sitting patiently in a corner waiting for me to get the next step done before their world domination: the nonfiction book proposal. I swear this is worse than NaNo. :P For the months I've researched online and in books on how to craft a witty yet professional proposal and balled up paper in a corner with tear-stained rough drafts of overviews and query letters hiding under my desk with only crackers and flat diet Coke to sustain me yet I only have the Chapter Outline and Query letter done (which rocks outloud).

Writing a humor book proposal is a different beast from the others, obviously. There are only a few ways to become an expert on zombies and I'm loathe to take the final step so that part of the proposal will remain undead. Marketing for zombies is growing, however, with the influx of new zombies sites on the Internet (god love 'em, these people are twisted) so expect me at a few Zombie Walks across the country looking for lonely Hell's Handmaidens to give some advice. My target audience spans the Undead, romance addicts, stalkers and people with a sense of humor that's a bit off the charts. I think I nailed it. ;)

Anyone out there with advice on how to write a humor nonfic proposal? Heeeeelp!